Dear Facebook,
The predominant reason why I frequent this site so often is due to the fact that I use two of the games: Castle Age and the Supernatural game. Now, part of the experience of these games is to interact with others, specifically in the giving of so-called "gifts," or items that can be shared with others in your "party," as well as invites to join other games.
In the past, you would alert me when I had one of these "gifts" by having a link appear in the right-hand margin of the main page, which was cool because my eyes naturally go to the right when looking for info and updates. That's where all the updates are, like birthdays and upcoming events. I could click it and it would bring me to a secondary page that allowed me to accept or reject my requests.
However, these days, whenever I look at the right-hand margin and click the link, you telll me that the game requests location has "changed" and that it is on the left-hand side, in the applet docking port. You have a "handy" pop-up quotation box telling me that it has moved there and that I need to click that button instead.
So Facebook, I ask you: If you decided to change the location of the request updates, why the HELL have you kept it on the right-hand margin as well? What is the point of this? Is it to tease me? To taunt me and make me do more work in order to see whether or not I need to rage in fury at yet ANOTHER invite to Farmville or Fishville or what-the-hell-else you have on here these days?
This is how I view you, Facebook:
You are the equivalent of a small child walking around his neighborhood. He looks around, smiling, because he's a happy kid.
Unfortunately, this kid is also fucking EVIL.
He makes his way throughout the neighborhood looking for victims. In one hand, he has a magnifying glass; in the other, he holds a sharpened stick. Everywhere he goes, the other children flee, crying for their mommies because they don't want to interact with this Satanic spawn of chaos and fuckery. Unfortunately for one child, today is not his lucky day.
The evil child sights his victim sitting in a sandbox, minding himself, and the evil child grins a wicked grin. You can see his teeth are yellow, rotted from the consumption of too much candy and soda in his short years. He stalks towards the intended victim, muddy, untied shoes making a squishing sound as he walks. Suddenly, the child looks around. Fear explodes in his eyes, but he has nowhere to go. He's stuck in the sandbox, unable to flee because the evil child is suddenly upon him. He's been sighted and deep in his heart of hearts, he knows he is fucked.
But for a moment, the evil child's evil grin fades and is replaced with a legitimate smile. He digs into his pocket and pulls out a piece of candy, offering it to the frightened boy. The boy, naive and trusting, reaches to take it. As soon as his hand comes within reach, the evil child's grin becomes wicked again and he stabs the kid with his sharpened stick. The kid, now injured, begins to cry and the wicked child is once again victorious over another.
This is how I see you, Facebook. You're a tease, evil and corrupt to your core. And this app thing? That's just the start.
I have more to say to you, but I'm still so thoroughly disgusted with this that I cannot write anymore. Expect another letter in the future.
Sincerely,
-Cat
